The Best Way to Deal with Haters

How to deal with hate in your creative process

Introduction


Before thinking about dealing with haters, we first need to understand where they come from. Most creative people have a blind spot regarding haters because it is something that is very rarely present in their personality. Creative people tend towards doubting themselves more than they want to pull others down. If somebody succeeding creates negative feelings in them, it is often translated to doubting themselves or being envious but not at all like what we see with haters.

Where does hate come from?


Hate is a very easy thing to understand but it can have devastating effects if you do not know how to handle it. Most people are very unhappy in their lives. They wanted to be happy and they settled for misery. But settling does not make them accept unhappiness. Internally, every single day is still a struggle and they cope by thinking that as most other people settled as well, it means that their choices were the right ones.

If you want to understand haters, try to imagine what happens in their heart when they see others succeeding or enjoying life. They may be scrolling their Twitter feed or watching random videos on YouTube and your work pops up. They did not bother anybody and just wanted to go through their day forgetting about their condition. But your work did not allow that, your fun and passion appears in their reality out of nowhere. And it is really raining down on their parade. They feel like you personally attacked them. You apparently did not get the memo that everybody should settle and be miserable. from their perspective, it is your fault. Society has rules and you broke them, you have no excuse. On top of that they feel like your happiness is targeting at them. You should have left them alone and not troubled their peace. This is why they feel justify in their attacks, however violent and hateful.

Another place where you will find your fiercest haters is among friends and family. Again, the situation there is very simple. Everybody was supposed to respect being average, but you decided to stand out. You choosing to follow your passion no matter what will strongly trigger insecurities in people close to you, especially in your family. You will have decided to put following your passion above protecting their feelings. Many of them will then feel personally betrayed, especially if beforehand you were conforming at least on the outside. You will also prove to the world that somebody from family X or group of friends Y can succeed. This means that by contrast, they will appear to the rest of the world as much less successful.

Another aspect of this is also that you threaten the status quo. This means that collectivist and conformist people will rightfully see you as a threat to the established order and their safety. By your very existence, you may encourage others to challenge established norms. This is why some haters will see their mission as protecting society from you.

For all of these reasons, as soon as you make the decision to follow yourself first and sacrifice the perceived peace of others, you will attract hate like bears to honey. It will not always be visible, but it will always be present.

A rough equation to how much hate you will face is this: (How powerful/happy/new/interesting/innovative what you do is) x (How popular and exposed you are to the general public)

And the thing that is important to understand is that you cannot reason with haters. Your very existence will trigger their negative emotions. In this equation, there is nothing you can do to lower hate except for dimming the quality of your work. You do not have to be perfect but to be as boring as possible to them. If they see that things do not work with you, they will find other victims. Never acknowledge them or their criticisms.

What are haters hoping to achieve?


To be able to deal with haters effectively, it is crucial to understand the exact thing that haters want to accomplish by attacking you. Whatever their actions, they want you to vibrate at a lower energy level than you currently are. In essence, they are looking to balance the scales between you and make the world more fair. This means that if you react with any kind of negativity towards them or towards yourself, they win.

This understanding produces an extremely simple solution towards haters, you have to remain as neutral as possible. Of course, this is extremely difficult if you are living through your mind and not your consciousness. Even if their points are valid and you see something to improve in what they say, do not react to them. If you see something to change in their point, you should never change your approach as a reaction to what haters are saying.

The best way to cultivate that state is to meditate and detach from duality as much as possible. This will detach your energy from the world and insulate you from most of the negativity of haters around you. The worst kind of advice you see floating around the internet is to send them love or try to understand their point of view. This is the best way to fragilize yourself and suffer. So not only should you avoid reacting negatively but also positively to them.

What kind of preparation do you need on a practical level?


Not only can hate be very damaging to your mind if you are not prepared, it can also have dire consequences in the real world. Some haters will try to hack you, make you lose money, destroy your work. This is why you need to be prepared and not think that the problem will take care of itself as long as you do not engage.

You need to make sure that everything around your personal and company data and information is as secure and private as it can be. Your passwords, profiles, financial information all need to be without vulnerability. You need to make sure you control what kind of private information about you is available online and what kind of pictures of you people can access.

When you publish any kind of picture or video, always ask yourself what kind of information about who you are, where you live, where you spend your time can dangerous people get from it. It does not mean that you need to hide who you are. You can be extremely public and share a lot. But for everything you share, you need to keep the information you release and the potential dangers in mind.

If you have a blog or a website, it should be as secure as possible. If you do not have skills in cyber security, it can be difficult to find people to do it cheaply and well but it is absolutely necessary. You should also make sure to delete, block and ban haters whenever necessary.

Another aspect to keep in mind is how dependent are you on the approval of society for your survival. Is it possible for people to cancel you? Do you depend on a corporate job? Can people get to you through your family? Creators often underestimate how much hate they will face and how quickly they will be targeted.

Conclusion


It is very important to understand and accept the kind and amount of hate you will receive. And then to prepare for it before you become popular because defending yourself during an attack is much more difficult than preparing as you slowly develop your presence online. And you have to remember that facing hate is a reality of our current world. It should not be a problem for you, just a thing to keep in mind and prepare for.